Restoration

This past weekend i got to escape to the country. Our family's farm doesn't boast many luxuries, but I thoroughly enjoy the quiet. the loose schedule. the sleeping in. The space. And... the quiet.

And of course, the people. This is my beautiful sister Melissa (Flo) - the best sister ever - and Rocky - the best dog in the whole world. Have I told you about him before? If so, sorry. He is the best dog in the world because he is even-tempered and tough, gentle and wise. Good with kids, and never snarls - except at coyotes. And he has three legs. And he still runs really fast. And my sister loves him a whole lot. Best dog ever.

This is my momma. She likes to go for walks and look for fossils - we actually find a lot out there. She gets pretty excited about interesting rocks. I love my momma!

That's our lake, or at least that's what we call it. A creek flows into it, and the dam that I was standing on to take this photo creates this huge tank. In the bottom of the photo is the valve for the draw-down - turn the wheel to release some of the water out the other side of the dam - but we only use that if the water is way up and... it hasn't been way up in a while.
One time last spring Garret and I were riding on the 4-wheeler and got to watch a gorgeous sunset from the top of the dam. That was a really peaceful moment.

Speaking of Garret, here he is fishing with my dad (while I play paparazzi).
If you asked me what was the most exciting part of this weekend, I would probably tell you that it was taking engagement pictures with Garret in town and out on the farm. We got to be cuddly and sentimental and goofy, and had a blast - despite the drizzly rain! Our photographers are a lot of fun, and we really enjoyed getting to take photos in neat places like inside the old barn (surrounded by hay, old wood beams, and the occasional hornets' nest) and by the "snake house" chimney. We'll get the pictures back in a couple of weeks, so we're looking forward to that!

All that said, if you asked Garret about this weekend, he would at some point definitely, and excitedly, tell you about all the fish he and my dad caught, which was about 20 each. See, last summer our lake turned over because of a process called eutrofication - which I now better understand because of my job - and that caused a fish kill. All this ironically happened right around the time my dad's mother passed away.
Today, the lake has been restocked, the fish have grown, and Dad and Garret caught some that were more than 2 lb.s - which is way exciting compared to zero fish last fall.
A little glimpse of restoration, I guess.

This is our grandmother, with baby cousin Hannah a few years ago. I was in China when Grandmother died. This picture is how I choose to remember her; she had a sweet spirit, loved the Lord, always had a kind answer, and loved to say the 23rd Psalm. I really enjoy remembering stories about her, both nostalgic and poignantly funny ones. ("Who's that walkin' heavy?")

Saturday afternoon, rambunctious Hannah was playing with my grandmother's walker, which for whatever reason still sits in her old bedroom. Hannah's mom, Jen, explained to her that yes, that used to be Grandmother's, but now she doesn't need it anymore because she's in heaven with Jesus and she can walk just fine. Just fine. My sister and I were in the bathroom working on getting my hair ready for pictures when we overheard this conversation, and I'm really glad we did, because I treasured that reminder.
Thank you Jesus for beautiful hope to rest in now, and for the sure promise of ultimate rest, restoration, and glory.

His love does not ebb...

needed to hear this today.


had to post it asap.
made me cry in my office. with the door open, no less.


I'm not a big "The Message" girl, but this is good stuff - Romans 8:38-39 -
"I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us."

tangles

Tangled hair, tangled heart and mind - that's me right now. Longing for sweet spiritual saturation and only putting forth 50% effort to grow towards that. MLK's post the other day pushed me towards realizing how much I've been avoiding life-giving things lately.

Everyday I read random blogs that don't really encourage or challenge me, they just distract. Everyday I check the facerbook way too many times. Everyday I read whatever magazines are laying around my room. Everyday I text way too much - avoiding time to sit still and reflect or pray. I've been losing interest in spiritual things that used to help keep me on track, or at least make me think and feel and not just be blank - like music (Sara Groves, Superchic[k], Rita Springer) the Gods Politics blog, memorizing Truth, and reading, whodathought it, the Bible. I've been getting tangled in this sick web of laziness, fear, worry, and regret, with moments of breakdown and redemption mixed in.

Today I was encouraged by Hosea 1. The first few verses discuss Hosea and Gomer's children and their painfully poignant names. Then, in v. 1o, there's a shift, and one gorgeous word that makes me weep: YET. I opened up my Bible to to that one word today and it spoke hope and life. Thank you Jesus for all the trillions of "yet"s that you enabled by your love and grace.

Then... later tonight I was thinking about my recent, obsessive blog reading habits and decided that maybe one step in the right direction would be to find some Christian blogs for women that were both creative and thoughtful, and could hold my attention. So I googled that and lo-and-behold, found one called Tapestry and Father used this post about Mark 5:25-34 (where the diseased woman in the crowd touches Jesus's cloak and is healed) to move me:

This story reminds me to do two things:

1 - reach for Jesus
2 - be brave

... Jesus does not change. He is the same compassionate Savior today. He is a Restorer. And this story encourages me to understand that at the times where I feel like He feels miles away and I feel lonely and hopeless, that perhaps I need to be brave and reach for Him in honest prayer. Even in the midst of my fear and shame.

Other people may fail me. Other people may take advantage, or mock, or be completely apathetic. I may fail myself. Not Jesus. He will not despise us when we reach out for Him.

He calls us daughters.

I needed that instruction, that reminder: drop the screens of fearfulness, and reach out for Jesus with brave hope. So yeah, that's where I am - seeking, finding, reaching, and asking/letting God do the untangling.

Jesus wants the rose. and me. and you.

Things have been rough lately. Lots of struggle. Daily asking God to change my heart. Daily failing in my own flesh. Clinging to hope. And Father is faithful to strengthen and encourage me. While I was at work today, I found these two encouraging things via the Desiring God blog.

- A Conversation with Death on Good Friday
" O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory
through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:55-57

- Jesus wants the rose
Really sweet Truth, from a Matt Chandler message.